Rainbow Love

i really detest kenneth. i always force myself to say that i don't hate him. but nothing is really erasing him out of my life. nothing. i really do not want to hear from him. i do not want to take his things. i do not want to listen to him. i do not want to receive his smses.

Jesus.

i really really hate him alot. for doing all the things he had done. for destroying the word love in my dictionary. i wish i can never see him again. and i wanna run. far far away from him.

i don't care whether he tells me how much he care. that i've grown up. its really none of his business! all this are bullshit. the words that come out of he's mouth are bullshit! i mean it.

i hate him.

but. i must forgive him before my heavenly father can forgive me of my sins.
teach me how to forgive someone. and forget someone.

im sorry. i feel really depressed now. no amount of crying is gonna help right now. but the emptiness in me is getting a hold over me. and i really feel like crying.
an immature kid. thats what i am. always. and always.