im gonna blog NOW.

bleah. i feel weird today.
SIGH. plenty of mixed feelings. i don't know where to begin.
not exactly depessed. i don't know.

nowadays its hard to explain what im feeling.
the anxiety in me.

piling work to be completed. getting easily fustrated with things going on.
WHAT NOW?
sigh. im gonna go do my QT in awhile.
pray that i'll have a great QT later (:
i think right now, i can only pray,speak to God.
and let his amazing grace let me have peace in my heart (:

sigh.


here is what im supposed to get done so far:

- 3 finance report on three different finance article.
- 15 entries of journal
- research for communication skills.
- presentation of a author
- dig out 3 photographs for creative writing.

thats about it. and this week im busy with :

- friday: W&I (:
- saturday: choir rehearsal
- sunday: church. cbtl

its all labour for God. it will be worthwhile.
well. i really wish things will move on smoothly.
i have doubts about my ability to do things now. i have doubts bout handling situations now.
theres so much that i just can't express in words.
im really getting negative right now.
i better stop this. and get on to my QT.
(:

loveloves.
i miss him dearly.
i think i have fallen deep inside. but ina says its better to fall inside than outside. LOL
thanks BESTFRIEND. (:

bestfriend = BF
boyfriend = BF

so BF + BF = 2BF
i have 2 BFs !
LAME.

bye.

MY PAY IS HERE.

haha. im really happy. i was struggling. not knowing where to get cash to get my pink formal top for CBTL. and i prayed to God that he'll provide me. and i tried saving my whole allowance (i didn't manage to save the whole 10 bucks i got from my mom :x). And freddy sms-ed me that my pay is here. i can collect it already. God answered my prayers! and i can get my pink formal top for CBTL. bwahaha. AMEN!

so tmr im going to marina sq and collect my cheque and quickly deposit it. thursday i'll get it.
my pay should be around 35 + 60 + 70 = 165 bucks! bwahaha. putting aside 50 bucks for the pink top, 50 bucks to haney. and im only left with 65 bucks. sigh. another 20 bucks to bbq pit. and im left with 45 bucks. and im supposed to treat my darling to a meal (:
will chicken rice do ? bwahaha. im joking (:

hahaaa. yes. im jumping for joy already.
today i went jogging . 1.5km only. but i was exhausted after running today. and i only took 15 mins or so. OKAY. its long. i understand. LOL. whatever.
my mom was like complaining that i shud go slow-jog for 1/2 hour or so. but im simply too lazy. haha. maybe i should like start running EVERYDAY.
then i can lose the excess oil.
today everyone started commenting that i looked pregnant. and many asked "ARE U PREGNANT?!" and so being irritated with all the common questions, i replied: " YES. one week pregnant. " SIGH. get the idea ?!
bleahhh. and my care group teacher, qiyutao actually asked "ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" -.-

ARGHHHH!!! SCREAMS JUMPS SCRATCHES. Whatever.
hahaaa.
im so excited for CBTL already. excited to praise God. (:
wheeeees. im gonna stop blogging now.(:

loves.
and i really love my boy very much.
he never reads my blog anyway. NO one does. :x

hohoho.

spent my entire Sunday in church. from 8.30am to 6pm. then went for dinner with some choir members. the dinner was random. cause i was walking to the bus stop. and 2 girls from choir were talking. saying they lived at pasir ris.
i really don't know them. and i just simply bugged in and said " ME TOO. ".

hahaaaa. random. but it was good. haha. but i won't wanna go out with them too often. because theres a really big age gap. i don't understand their conversation. so yah. bwahaha. im like in a world of my own.

Choir was good. especially standing on that stage. it was good. this time before rehearsal. i really prayed with my heart. and i began to experience a whole different thing altogether. i asked for God's presence to be here with us. and i really felt His presence so strongly. and it made me go all out during the practice.
and now my throat is kinda sore. and time and times again between the practice, i was asking God to preserve my throat (:

next week is a busy week for ME! i need to go get my pink formal top for choir. but i don't have money. Father, i pray that you provide for me. Especially when im really broke. I pray to have discipline in my spending. that i can save all my allowance by friday in order to get the top for choir.
In Jesus's name i pray, AMEN.

God will provide! haha. i need money like NOW. SIGH. what to do.
i think from tmr onwards. i'll just eat sandwich everyday. then friday i'll go get my formal top. (:

oh today in cell. we celebrated waldy, Evelyn and my birthday. thanks (:
haha. its nice knowing everyone from Shalom. and i really hope i'll continue to grow together with every single one of you (:

im gonna stop blogging now. and do some research. haha.
BYE.
loves.

i miss my darling(:

i know i haven't been blogging much. LOL
i really can't help it.
sigh. busy ? not really.

School started already. i only made two new friends. Stephanie and yusrin.
well. they are nice people i hope.
hmm. Well, KeHong and Jeremy are in the same class. but then again i don't talk to them often.

im in lab alone. one more hour before lessons starts. 3 hours of lab. then im allowed to go home. going for a date in the park later. LOL. jogging. don't anyhow think lah.

ina didn't come school today. SIGH. i had my lunch with sean,joanne, shumin and yanloo.
not bad le lah. still have pple to accompany me. today i crashed their lecture. though vincent chew is nice. but his lectures are always VERY boring.
yea.

im gonna read some articles now. gotta go . (:
LOVES
bring back some life to my tag board please.

BTW. i almost forgot.
my birthday party is coming (:

date: 11 nov 2006, Saturday
time: 6pm - 9/10pm
venue: Pasir Ris Park
dresscode: wait till i decide.

YEA. please make urself free. (:


byee.

tmr's my first day of year two. semester two.

well. im having mixed feelings about going to school. worried bout not having any company with me in school. But. i'll just leave it all into God's hands. i pray for the best out of everything (:

my mommy is still in the hospital. thanks everyone for the concern. and thanks ina for spreading the news. LOL.
well. i really pray she's alright. i love her more than anything. so i don't wish to see anything happen to her. i pray that the Lord will preserve her life. (:

i finally met up with JEFF after 3 days. these 3 days have been really long. and hard to get over with.
i was struggling with my innerself. not knowing what to do. and actually tearing most of the time.
but im still thankful that God had not forsaken me. even when there was no one there for me. I always had God to confide in.
and im really grateful (:

well. tmr will be a better day! choir rehearsal was great today. my cheerfulness returned to me quickly during the choir rehearsal. everything felt better. and im really happy bout worshiping God.

i have to go catch some sleep already. i have not slept the whole of last night. and i was actually crying most of the time yesterday. so gotta catch some sleep. eyebags GO AWAY!

haha.
loveloves.

i love you darling (:

my timetable is out .
the only good news is that im in the same CREATIVE WRITING class as SEAN. and im jumping joy for that particular reason.
the rest of my timing slots are really BAD. really bad.

i said a wrong word just now while on the phone with him. and then he was asking me whether its peer pressure. ARGHS. im really sorry. ):

arghs. anyway. my timetable is pathetic because.
i start school at 9am. and always end at 5pm/6pm. AT LEAST. not as bad as ina. she ends at 6pm. like almost all the time. LOL.
poor thing huh.

but i kinda dread school. because everything sounds difficult to me. web based application. and server client smth. yah. its ina's interest but definitely not mine.
for the last time, SIGH.

tmr im working at vivo. anyone wanna come visit me ? truthfully i don't feel like working at all. but im just gonna work. spend time. ):
hah. im adding CDS. any suggestions what to add ?
simple ones.

bleah. i miss that boy. really alot. SUNDAY. its such a long long way to go. and then after SUN. the timing are geting shorter. and then the phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder." will come in. bwahaha. lame lah.

im not complaining. or whining. im just missing him. haha.
at least i managed to spent time with him yesterday. that im grateful for already (:

it was nice seeing Joanne.shumin and people again. really great. haha. haven't seen them for quite long already. but didn't get to go vivo with them. maybe its a good thing also. because i had time to go jogging.
haha. im so tired. eversince my new computer came. my brother won't stop using the computer. not giving me an opportunity to use it in the night. BAD.

hmph. gotta go. (: byeeee.

LOVES.

yay. im like finally blogging after so long.
happy you know. because my computer crash
i got a replacement now though.
AND its really GREAT.

the screen is big. im using apple you see. so i have a really big white screen infront of me.
yaya.

let me summarise my "EVERYDAY"
sat : James (jeff's bro) birthday
had dinner with his family at some resturant. i'll post the pictures soon.
sun : ChuiLi's birthday celebration at Fish&Co. (mine's coming soon :D)
Choir rehearsal was GREAT. but tiring. haha.

mon : i finally had a proper date with him. haha.
tues : met up with annette and emily.

i have been busy. haha. not really VERY busy lah.
haha. and then i hope tmr i can meet him again. its like school's reopening next monday. SIGH.

okay la. the truth is im looking forward to going back to school. im just VERY bored at home. haha.
im gonna stop blogging. and start exploring my computer.

hahaha. loveloves. (:

i love this picture. haha. (:

yesterday i went shopping. and i spent half of my pay. bwahaha. many will say im a spender. BUT. i'll still try to defend for myself.
haha. hey i bought all the neccesities. OK.
bag.wallets.skirt.shoes.
thats all. and also athens II for him.

bought a wallet for ina. and she bought me a necklace. haha. loveloves.
the wallet is nice. the necklace is nice too.
met annette and emily at TM. didn't expect them to be there.
yesterday suck. im sorry. but my mood was really affected. went back to Isetan to visit the aunties there. but i had to hear smth that dampened my mood badly. ): i shall stop dwelling upon what the aunty said to me.

it doesn't matters anymore whether whose side you are on. because whatever you say to me is what you see to me on the surface only. i shall not get offended.
and i had to see him. i wanted to run badly. but then i told myself to stay and continue doing what im supposed to do. whatever. its over.

sigh. yesterday was W&I. actually i thought W&I was good. never been to any before. i would go the 2nd time the 3rd and so on (:
the haze is bad now. i can smell it from my room. no wonder everyone's falling sick. especially jeffrey. takecare okay?

i have a special prayer request. please pray for tmr's choir audition. although i have decided to try for the audition tmr. i really want to still pray that this is what the holyspirit wants. and not my own decision. i pray for a sign. (:

tmr im starting work at vivo city. well. i won't really say im excited. because im seeing PJ tmr. nono. don't get the wrong idea. not that i dislike her or what. but things are really gonna be very wierd tmr. but face it. really, face it. 4pm - 10pm.
that will be 42 dollars.

and im also working on thurs.fri.sat. and the following week sat.
WOW. and Freddy asked whether i can work when school opens too. i prolly take it as a part-time job. (:

okay. im gonna carry on practising for tmr's audition. and pray hard. and then im gonna have a sleep. im tired. (: takecare loves.

God is gracious to ME.

this picture is badly taken. sigh. but nvm. i just wanna show you my haircut. though it ain't really obvious. i think my hair is really short. so don't like. grow fast please.

i have been out yesterday. today. going out tmr.friday.
hoho. i have been going out again and again.

but nvm lar. its my hols anyway. (: today i met him. haha. went to his house again. tidied up his desk today. wow. major cleanup can. then we went to katong to cut hair.

haha. i took this ! and she looks funny with the thing on top of her head. remind me of a birdnest.

this is the outcome. haha. 90 bucks for this ? next time i do for you. outcome sure better.haha.

okay. well. today spent time talking to Jeffrey about youth church, serving etc. i think i better start thinking about it. like seriously. and i actually realised that i have not been doing my QT as much as before. gonna do my QT later. and tmr i better wake up early and do it (:

i think this 3 days break from not seeing him will be good (: spend more time with God. hha.

okay i think im gonna stop blogging. im abit tired. (:

i like to look back on every stage of my life.
Each time i look back. i see new changes. and i feel happy.

I was reading through a few comments about my secondary classmates to me.
and from their comments. i could really feel what kinda person they see me as.
Often their comments would have this particular sentence, "Be Strong. Stop Crying anymore."

and then i realised i have spent the first 15 years of my life, crying over every single thing that happened.
childhood. school. People who love teasing me. and then i realised if i did not cry back then. No one would love teasing me just to see me cry right? But then if i did not cry. i wouldn't be as emotionally strong as i am now.
so i really Thank God for everything that made me suffered back then.
For every insults and critism that i took in. Everything made me grew.

In Sunday's sermon. there was a part that was like that "In order for God to make great use of us. We have to be wound deeply first."
im very proud to say that ive be wounded so deeply before. And that one day i'll be of great use to Him.

So everything did happened for a reason right. Sometimes i felt like i've come out of the past. i've stopped dwelling in the past. Maybe i have really stopped. But sometimes i still like to review everything. Because when i review everything. i see different changes. Each time i look back, i learnt new things.

Stages of my life in different parts.
my childhood, primary school, days of XXXXXX (i have to keep the name in secret), sec 3 days - my RHYA days.
all these years i have been depressed often about the same things. when i finally got over everything. i realised how stupid i have really been.
I could have lived my Life happily. but i chose to cry over it. How dumb have i been.

But not anymore. I can choose the way i want to live life in. The positive way. or the negative way. Everything is by God's grace.

God has been kind to provide people on the way to help me. And i have been stupid to let go of them. But i have learnt my lessons. to treasure and to cherish.

Grace. if you ever read this. God is not oblivious to you situation. i know one day you'll come back to the family. I have been wounded deeply. even more than you. But i know everything is for a reason. You find that you cannot trust humans. Why can't you trust God then ? He has plans for you, my dearest friend. Believe me.


im gonna go change. because im gonna meet my boy. (: loves.
and God is great all the time (:

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Jeffrey!

1. Jeffrey can turn his stomach inside out.
2. Ostriches stick their heads in jeffrey not to hide but to look for water.
3. Forty percent of the world's almonds and twenty percent of the world's peanuts are used in the manufacture of jeffrey!
4. Two thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in jeffrey.
5. If you break jeffrey, you will get seven years of bad luck.
6. Jeffrey has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean.
7. Jeffrey, from the movie of the same name, had green blood.
8. There are six towns named jeffrey in the United States.
9. Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by jeffrey.
10. Jeffrey invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Qiqi!

1. Qiqi is the smallest of Jupiter's many moons!
2. Pacman was originally called qiqiman.
3. Scientists believe that qiqi began billions of years ago as an enormous ball of dust and gas!
4. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn into qiqi!
5. All swans in England belong to qiqi.
6. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from qiqi!
7. The international dialling code for qiqi is 672.
8. Baskin Robbins once made qiqi flavoured ice cream!
9. Qiqi was named after Qiqi the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'!
10. Qiqiology is the study of qiqi.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Ina!

1. The risk of being struck by ina is one occurence every 9,300 years.
2. If you cut ina in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have.
3. Ina can taste with her feet!
4. Never store ina at room temperature.
5. Donald Duck's middle name is ina.
6. New Zealand was the first place to allow ina to vote.
7. Ina once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
8. Ina cannot be detected by infrared cameras!
9. You should always open ina at least an hour before drinking her.
10. On average, women blink nearly twice as much as ina.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Sean!

1. The canonical hours of the Christian church are matins, lauds, prime, terce, sext, none, sean and compline!
2. The patron saint of sean is Saint Eugenie.
3. Over 46,000 pieces of sean float on every square mile of ocean.
4. The deepest part of sean is over 35,000 feet deep!
5. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by sean.
6. Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw sean into a volcano it would stop erupting.
7. Humans share over 98 percent of their DNA with sean!
8. Two grams of sean provide enough energy to power a television for over twenty-three hours.
9. If you chew gum while peeling sean then it will stop you from crying.
10. All gondolas in Venice must be painted black unless they belong to sean!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

your everything to me.

im blogging more and more frequently. it seems that this is what a person do when she or him is extremely bored. you know, Bored. yah. with completely nothing to do.

my pay is here. but ina doesn't want to accompany me to collect it. so i think im going by myself.
its tiring to go all there. a one hour forty-five mins trip there. and a 1 hour and so trip back. its really not fun. but then again. if i want the money. i have no choice.
SIGH.

looking forward to thursday now. i haven't seen nicole eversince don't know when. haha.
and qianhui. she tagged (: hope i can meet you soon too.

im gonna be so busy later.
with the terrible housework waiting for me.
checklist :

• sweep/mop the floor
• toilet
• kitchen
• balcony
• wash and hang the clothes

bleah. i always disliked being the only sister at home. if only i have a younger sister. we can share the workload ! hmph.

nvm. haha. i gotta go (: one more hour then i start doing my chores. (:

loves.

"Wife submit to their husband. And husband love your wife. as Christ love His church" (thats all i remembered from him. (: )

its been a long day for me today. haha. But. i still did had fun.
yesterday he came back. i was practically jumping for joy. superb.

haha. went over to his house. and then dinner. (: loves.

today i met him. accompanied him to the polyclinic. to find out why his wound isn't recovering. hah. thats because he has been washing the wound in the wrong wrong way. but now you know huh (: haha.
and then we went to JB. this the first time i ride a bike to JB. horrifying experience i would say. but still i felt safe. because there was him with me. haha. i don't mind going again and again. its the company im with that really matters. (:

im falling deeper in love as each day pass. i think thats a good sign? hmm.

anyway. im gonna start praying bout serving in church. being a servant of God. although my mom is pretty against the idea. well. i'll still think about it.
choices now : choir/worship or fellowship comm.

thats bout it (:
haha. im listening to hillsongs mighty to save album right now. its good. (:
and im waiting for dinner.
gotta go .

byee. (:

he's back. and im glad (:

today is a Sunday!
went church.
then Costa's lunch with cellgroup. he's going in army. have fun (:

and then. ina and my time. the jigsaw puzzle customizing shop is gone. im really sad.
cottage pie. sat there and nua for awhile. then left tampines mall.

im sorry ina. i was quite moody for awhile. maybe you should try falling in love. you'll understand how it feels. haha. :)
and in the midst of my moodiness. he called! and told me he was back.
i was smiling in the bus like a goon. :x i bet the person beside me was like thinking. this girl is crazy. haha.

yeayea. im crazy.
but theres nth i can do.

and weds. im meeting weixuan and nicole. its been ages since i met both of them together. (:
RHYA catch up time ? hmmm. letme think bout it. haha. im no longer a YA. bleah. although i really wish to still be one. but nvm.

gotta go now. loves. (:

tadah . (: loves.