some memories

I chanced across a blog that brings back memories of the past. I remember going through a lot of emotions at that time; a lot of hatred, bitterness, unforgiveness and depression.

As I came across that blog, I took some time to digest the words written in it. It was written a while ago, yet I chanced upon it. I imagined if I had read that particular post a few years back then, how much more challenging it will be for me to snap out of it and change myself to who I am now.

I wonder if they know that I'm no longer the same idiotic person as before. I wonder if they know that I've changed under the strong transformation from God. I wonder if they know that now, I'm learning to care more for others and less for myself.

In the past, we had too many misunderstandings. I thought that you ditched me and you thought that I wasn't worth it. I wondered if you really knew how i was coping with everything. I wondered if at that time, as my best friend, you knew how i was feeling all the time. But then I realised, you never did and you never will.

It seems that God has make it such a way that we'll never cross our paths again. I wonder if there will be an opportunity when we can all sit down face to face and remincse the past, and talk through it. Of course, I know that what has pass, has passed and I should have let go but I wish I could make up for the lost.

As I read through the blog, I realised you are still going through so much of the emotional rollercoaster. And I see the difference in both your's and my world. God has made such a big impact in my life, that I'm able to step out of the whole rollercoaster issue, deep down in my heart, I wish it was the same for you. I wish and sincerely hope that you can be happy, can be joyful and come back to the arms of Christ who loved you so deeply first.


You are one of the best story of my life but also the worst story of my life.
What a contradiction.

I still think of you, pj. so much. God bless you and I pray that you'll find true joy in this life of yours that you may continue to walk through this journey with His strength and boldness.

(:




Yesterday, I had an intensive mahjong session. haha.
slept quite late last night and I still have 2 tuition lessons!

Just a short update: My dad's operation went smoothly. Praise God (:

been busy!

I have not blogged for a long while due to the training at a tuition centre.
Five days a week, I have been giving classes on my own and at the tuition centre.

I can predict that from July onwards to be extremely hectic for me!
Last week, I came back from a Young Adult Church Camp at Melaka. It had been a blast! Although I didn't had time to shop, I still enjoyed myself throughly.
It is really the company that I am with which makes me enjoy the camp !

My dad will be going for his operation on Friday. Please do keep him in your prayers. Prayers are greatly appreciated.

Today, Jeffrey gave me this bulldog soft toy which was gave by one of his friend long time ago. I took this bulldog wherever I went. I sat infront of Puggy, and started petting the bulldog, telling the bulldog, "Good girl." I kept pretending the bulldog was a real dog and started petting the head and stroking the tummy. Puggy got very jealous over the soft toy and she even tried to snap at the bulldog! When I was not looking, She jumped up the sofa and bit the bulldog. What a hilarious scene. This goes to show that Puggy can be jealous too! Cute!


Sleeping soon!

a brand new day

it's you that i really love afterall.
many words can be said, many things can be done, many hurts can be inflicted. but beneath all these, my heart goes all out to you. loving you as a friend, looking up to you, and you mean just so much to me.
i'm so sorry, and i still love you so much (:



yesterday, had a great time rollerblading. haha. will upload photos maybe later at night or tmr.
afterthat was shopping then dinner, then mahjong again!
haha.

well,well.
today i'll be going to the tuition centre for my first day of training. happy and excited. hehe.
there are a lot of things that i keep telling myself to remember, to take note of.
i hope all these will help me, not only in my career but also my spiritual life.
(:

last day of fun.

today is the last day, i'm allowed to go out and play.
after today,

i'll put all my focus on my career as a tutor. the tuition centre i'm going to work at somehow is also a ministry to do God's work. so from tmr onwards, i want to do my best to fulfil my purpose in this world.

the worries and burdens on my shoulders, i don't want them to distract me from my destiny and purpose of my life.
as for her, who i've been hurt so much by, i'll forgive her.

i'm so tired.
really tired from all the sleepless nights. tmr, will be a new start of my life.
i want to learn to trust God, put all my trust in him, as i bless others, i hope to receive healing as well, just as michael ross watson told me. that's my only route to healing. the reason why things happen to me is so that i can reach out to others.

tmr is a brand new day.
enjoy myself today as much as i can.
then forget bout all that had happen these 6 months.


on a happier note, jeffrey is coming home on friday midnight (:
i can already imagine me, just running to him, and letting out all that i've kept within me these 3 weeks. crying out all the pain, struggles that i've been pressing on when he's not around.



you are the one that mean so much to me, girl.