SIP ending (:

just when attachment is coming to and end, i begin to enjoy the company i have here, the environment, the food and i'll miss it all.

its been a great joy coming to know the people working here.
had my fair share of laughter and joy. of course the times, where i just worked non-stop too. running from places to places, but it was all so great (:



recently, i've been dwelling in a problem that i do not know how to get out of there.
but i appreciate the fact that there are people around me.
my polar, my best friend and ate.

it was really so comforting to know that there are people who bothers.
i try my best not to dwell in there.
now, i'm very bloated.
had a super duper full lunch with pauline and seri (:
had a great time too.
that right now, i'm dozing off.


lots of emails has been sent between pauline and i.
she's a mad crazy lady.
but i love (:



god bless to all at work (:

(:

i love you baby.

baby booked out on friday night.

went simpang bedok with him & his parents and joyce.

really fabulous time spent together. & i love the food (:

been jogging 3 times a week for the last two weeks. i think its really good to lift up your Sprits.

yesterday baby had a high fever in the morning, pulled myself out of bed at 6am cause i had stupid stomach pains. and then rushed to his house to nurse my sick baby.

haha. he was really warm when i reached his place. i reached at 7am!

hmm, poor thing.

but God being so good, being our healer, baby was well by noon. let him sleep more. & some stupid random stuff happen. i was brawling like a baby then. not wanting to let him go for mentoring cellgroup. -.- haha. maybe it was due to the last two weeks, trying to be really strong and not shed a single tear, i cried so much on saturday. and he cried. i was really upset that i made him cried.

but again, it always melt my heart to see him shed a single tear. (: he's my precious.

haha. then sunday went to church with a heavy heart not due to him, but a lot of other struggles and burdens. so worship was power today!

it was one that you can just see everyone so touched by God's presence, wanting more & more of him. i was totally touched to tears, reminded of God's grace and love, that we are forgiven.

so it was really a moment, where i could just sing out praises for God in whatever circumstances - good or bad.

sermon was a good one too.

so i can say, i'm really renewed in Spirit today (:

i'm going to catch my beauty sleep soon.

i miss my baby so much as usual.

saturday afternoon or sunday morning he'll be back, whatever it is. God bless him, protect him, keep him healthy, help him excel in everything he does. i pray that God will grant him favor with his superiors. he'll not get into trouble. and just be with him 24/7. and thankyou Father, for a great man you've given me. (:

amen.

it is so true, that a christian must marry a christian. so that they can nurture and grow spiritually in Christ (:

and boy, why did i not meet you earlier? you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

i was reminded of what aaron chan said, "you're gonna be with him for eternity, on earth for prolly another 80 years and in heaven forever!"

hahhaa. that's true! & everything is just so awesome!

baby, having you by my side really really make me feel blessed.

but i know i've to snapped out of this love fantasy and be independent.

and my goal right now is: to do well at Student Care, to impact and touch the lives of the children.

this is definitely not my end-point, but oh Lord, whatever it is you want me to do for you, i'll obey you and do your good works. i pray you'll guide me, you'll teach me your ways. and i'll just grow and draw closer to you.

(:

blessed week, everyone.

p.s Valentine's is coming soon. hehehe.

life can be pretty unpredictable

life can be a bore, it can be full of joy and hope or it can be one that's full of bitterness and sorrow.
to me, i prefer it to be full of joy and hope (who doesn't) but sometimes, it gets a tad too boring because you go through the same routine lifelessly.
for example, waking up at 6am, boarding bus 359, taking the train to city hall (sometimes you get a seat, sometimes you don't), walking to Aldephi to buy breakfast and then walking to supreme court, go through the detector. and blah blah blah, the list goes on.

but out of the usual routines, there will be unexpected event that spices up your life (:
like... having to joke with nazim (when sometimes his jokes are not too funny), talking to khar eng about the baby boy in her stomach and etc etc.

and i've just got a new after-graduation job!
i got through my interviews (:
although i will be on 3 months probation, i know that God has really led me to this job, this ministry i call it. and i know i've lots of obstacles to face. but i will eventually get through it!
so friends, i will be at church for the 1st month for intensive training, and then i'll be stationed at Telok Kurau Primary. (why do my life always have to associate with Telok Kurau ?)

haha.
amazing.

ok so attachment is ending in 10 days excluding the weekends.
i'm elated. but i will miss the people here very much.
hehe.



you know, i was going through my portfolio yesterday. and i flared up and wipe off all the words written with a correction tape.

the question was: What do you see yourself as in 5 years?
my answer was: be married to XXX, be happy with all my friends ________ (who doesn't exist in my life anymore)

i was screaming inside my head with so much fury at how stupid childish i was.

let's go on.
the 2nd question was: What do you see yourself as in 30 years?
my answer was: have lots of children with that same XXX, be really good friends with ______ (same as above)

and XXX is someone whom i definitely would not like to see or face for the rest of my life.
bad bad memories.
and its a struggle that i've been telling God about. erase those memories :x

you know what i mean right?
i almost died.
and surprisingly, the changes not only came with an increase in age, but also because i started to walk closely with God.
such drastic difference in maturity in a short 1 and a 1/2 year.

and right now, i miss jeff.
hahhaa. i wonder if polar bear goes field camp, will he transformed into sun bear?


hmmm. interesting.

friday, come soon please!

i'm back

wow.

i haven't had time to blog for so long.

attachment has kept me away for soooo long!

haha.

and now as baby is in camp, i still don't have much spare time.

hmmm.

i've taken on another new direction in life. its as if, i'm ready for the next phase of life.

and that's getting a job after graduation.

maybe some updates.

i've gone for a interview for BCCSC Student Care. and my 2nd interview will be next tues (:

i've prayed, have been seeking God regarding this issue, and i really felt that God is calling me to it. if you want to know more, msn me. haha.

its totally awesome how God really works in my life. the way he prepares me for every single event. his words, meditation and everything. i can only say wow.

i've just came back from shalom retreat 4 days ago.

it was really awesome. i was really refreshed and recharged. both spiritually and physically (:

praise God for his wonderful & amazing work in Shalom and for giving us that wake up call.

haha.

just came home from dinner with ina. she treated cause she got her pay.

its becoming a trend huh ina!

when i get my pay, i treat you. you get yours - you treat me.

& thats what friends are really for.

besides, you've a greater responsibility. i'm not your normal friend. haha, but we are a&c partners plus gorilla/baboon mates for LIFE. and i mean it. God didn't place you in my life for nothing. i really appreciate everything you've done for me.

its awesome knowing someone like you cares and have not give up.

from the first day i stepped into BBTC. and from the times we had some problems. God is really transforming both of us. as what jeff always love to say, "as iron sharpens iron, man sharpens man" haha. i think that's really the case for both of us.

(:

pictures!

introducing to you my polar bear.

my christmas present to jeff.

photos with jeff eversince he came out of camp (:

hehe (:
i love his head. its really nice to feel. and he's really a polar bear now.
haha.

my sweet love. i love you (:

and with a new direction in life that i'm heading towards, days seem to just fly past.
haha. and i really miss my love (:

)):

i'm lost for words.

)):

God, help me pull myself together.
i'm serving tmr. don't let anything bring me down.
because i'm serving you, don't let the evil one disrupt my emotions.

every week i serve, things often happen to make me feel so down.
illness, emotions.
i'm an overcomer because Jesus overcame the world!

as for baby, i really experience frustrations and hidden pain.
but for you, for our future. we'll pull through this phase of life.
all for the sake of spending my whole life with you.
baby, i love you. and i need you.

baby's still in camp

you know, you know, i do miss him loads.
this is getting tough as each day pass.
i thought it would get better, but i miss him.
the weekends just seem to fly so fast.

sigh. boy, i'm looking forward to the weekends though.
but every weekend, i seem to be so busy.
hmm. like having choir practice or he going to church, and sunday morning i having choir.
so we still don't get to spend enough time together?
hmmm. time is never enough.
whatever.

i'm down with the cold virus again. my body system is totally weirdo.
everytime when it reaches the alternate sunday when it's time for me to serve in choir, i get the flu virus. spiritual warfare jeff calls it. he said "pray against it"
yes, i've been praying. the last 4 weeks too.
sigh.

God, please protect me.
where's my faith! have faith! faith overcomes fear!


qiqi is almost bonkaz.
really.

i kinda love spending time at home now.
have completely no idea why.
sigh. -.-

love my boy.

some thoughts.

recently, i have been troubled by a few things.
i really don't have time to sit down and talk to someone about it.
but well, now at work, when i'm sick of doing up that powerpoint.
i decided to blog.

year 2008 has reached.
to me, year 2007 was the year that i was blessed the most.
in terms of school, church, financially, relationships with friends, my boy and etc.
but there are plenty of issues that i would just sigh and say, oh God, why am i regretting right now? or why is it this, and why is it that.

i didn't really ask why. oh well.

issue no.1
i'm feeling upset over a little girl that i really care for. someone whom i hold dear to my heart. recently, she's showing me lots of attitude. she doesn't cares whether i'm around anymore. she doesn't calls me when she sees me around. and she just totally show you the "i-can't-be-bothered-with-you-face".
its really hurting. but there's really nothing you can do. and i felt really helpless at point of times.
i know i can't please everyone. but right now, i'm just at loss of what to do.

issue no.2
ok. this issue is rather stupid too.
i always talk about shining for God. leaving heartprints. but at this one time, i guess i burst. and i feel regretful about it.
so one fine morning, i decided to ask friend A out for lunch. i dislike asking her out for lunch because she always has a lot of last minutes plan or she has this or that on. and its really a whole load of excuses. so this particular morning, i smsed her. and she replied that she'll meet me for lunch. and boy, i was really glad there was no excuses. but i was so wrong again. because later on just before lunch, she smsed me and said she has to go raffles to buy some gifts during lunch.
& i know it would take long. so i was really frustrated. i don't know why. (now as i'm typing this, i feel stupid) but anyway i replied this harsh and blunt sms "please remind me not to ask you out for lunch anymore. too many excuses. its so annoying"
i can't believe i actually said that!
double SIGH.

issue no.3
i made jeff really upset on 1st Jan 2008 at 1pm.
how annoying.
and i practically cried my eyes out. it was so hurting. but oh well, its all over.
but i still feel lousy. and my poor boy is in camp now.
missing him loads.
sighhhhhhhhh.

ok. there are plenty more to be listed down. but i shan't do on. cause its a tad too personal.

anyway, jeff's platoon mates thought i was his sister, and they were interested in me. they asked jeff whether i'm his sister. jeff told me " i wanna wack them man"
hahaha. i almost died laughing when i read that stupid hilarious sms of a jealous polar bear.

and whenever i just think about that sms, my heart skips a beat, and i just smile so foolishly at myself. hehe.

and i'm sad to announced, that i'm sick once more with the flu bug.
perhaps i should really rest. instead of running around despite being sick.
the last time i was sick, i never rested. and its a no-wonder i'm sick again.

heh.

and my year 2008 resoultions?
to be updated really soon.
i'm so busy recently. that i hardly go online.
besides no one really reads my blog. hehe.

seeyou all soon peepos.

photos (:

something that ina would die to seee. hohoho

this is my lover boy. i love him loads.

polar loves babymelon (:
my cuddleys

i feel like a mom hugging her babies. hahahhaa. -.-