Rainbow Love

i like to look back on every stage of my life.
Each time i look back. i see new changes. and i feel happy.

I was reading through a few comments about my secondary classmates to me.
and from their comments. i could really feel what kinda person they see me as.
Often their comments would have this particular sentence, "Be Strong. Stop Crying anymore."

and then i realised i have spent the first 15 years of my life, crying over every single thing that happened.
childhood. school. People who love teasing me. and then i realised if i did not cry back then. No one would love teasing me just to see me cry right? But then if i did not cry. i wouldn't be as emotionally strong as i am now.
so i really Thank God for everything that made me suffered back then.
For every insults and critism that i took in. Everything made me grew.

In Sunday's sermon. there was a part that was like that "In order for God to make great use of us. We have to be wound deeply first."
im very proud to say that ive be wounded so deeply before. And that one day i'll be of great use to Him.

So everything did happened for a reason right. Sometimes i felt like i've come out of the past. i've stopped dwelling in the past. Maybe i have really stopped. But sometimes i still like to review everything. Because when i review everything. i see different changes. Each time i look back, i learnt new things.

Stages of my life in different parts.
my childhood, primary school, days of XXXXXX (i have to keep the name in secret), sec 3 days - my RHYA days.
all these years i have been depressed often about the same things. when i finally got over everything. i realised how stupid i have really been.
I could have lived my Life happily. but i chose to cry over it. How dumb have i been.

But not anymore. I can choose the way i want to live life in. The positive way. or the negative way. Everything is by God's grace.

God has been kind to provide people on the way to help me. And i have been stupid to let go of them. But i have learnt my lessons. to treasure and to cherish.

Grace. if you ever read this. God is not oblivious to you situation. i know one day you'll come back to the family. I have been wounded deeply. even more than you. But i know everything is for a reason. You find that you cannot trust humans. Why can't you trust God then ? He has plans for you, my dearest friend. Believe me.


im gonna go change. because im gonna meet my boy. (: loves.
and God is great all the time (: