Rainbow Love

sigh. study study.
okay. i just woke up from my afternoon nap. i studied quite hard today. there's more to come. mugmugmug.

the most interesting thing of the day. well. i quarrelled with my eldest brother. it always happens. but my mom said im in the wrong. even if my brother is wrong in the first place, im still in the wrong. because its wrong for the younger to shout at the older.
well. okay. even if im wrong, im not the least apologethic. really.

he disown me as his sister. and i really don't care. the reason being cause i really don't see a need to respect him. being his sister for so many years, i have never seen him contributing to the family. been always seeing him being rude to my parents. always seeing him scold and shout at people over the phone, always seeing him bring girls back home. and lastly i shall not mention the last part. because its not for you to know.

if, he was like my 2nd brother. who gives me a right to respect him. yes i'll. and i'll love him. but how can i love him? he told me not to talk to him anymore. and he said he don't even want to talk to me or see me at all. well deep down in my heart i was thinking "then why are you speaking to me now" but its a good thing i kept my silence. all he would seriously have whack me. not lying. because i knew he had that urge too. but if he whack me, i seriously would have hit him back. i remember how he slapped me when i was young just because i tore his magazine. like hey. im still young okay!

sigh. gonna take some time to try to exercise forgiveness towards him. i really feel sad for him. because i know he is an unhappy man. because he do not know Jesus. but now, i can't even speak to him. now im not speaking to 2 men in the family. gosh.

im feeling so irritated. with him. withmyself. BLEAH.
whatever lah. i still think its not my fault.
at least i rant it all out. and he packed his bag and left. where. i don't know. and i can't be bothered. i never felt so much against him until like today. i always keep things in my heart. no wonder i exploded. Patience . sigh.

love,
qiqi