Rainbow Love

Matthew 5:16
In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.


im finally back from camp. a really long 5 days 4 nights. seriously, i think as i get older, i prefer to stay at home. i am no more that kid who loves to go camp. haha.
i think i learnt a lot from camp. i learnt my part in camp as an admin. i learnt how to really communicate. i learnt that prayers are really important and many others. i also came to learnt about myself. the flaws and the strengths.

day 0 - leader's day
leader's day were very slack. only the moving of the logistics was a bit tiring. well, i didn't move much lah. but was practically running around. haha. but then later on in the day was really slack. hmm. but then, there were a few hiccups with food. with me and food i/c. ):
and jeff fell sick. i wasn't worried at first, thinking it was a slight flu. but i was so so wrong ):

day 1
i went back to church with feli & robyn to get the campers. there were a few hiccups too. missed out a lot of names in the registration list. i felt that i didn't do a great job. infact, i was beginning to feel like a loser. but then i decided to push the negative thoughts aside, and do what i can. so, i reached back the campsite. it seemed like the campers felt really welcomed by the leaders. and it was great! i travelled alot today. because i had to get stuff for the food and the packed lunch & dinner from jeff's mom. well, but because of this, there were further unhappiness ): but im glad that the campers enjoyed their first day. the game pirates of PLMGS was fun. i get to bomb the groups though i was an NPC. but it was really fun.

at this point of time, jeffrey was already having a fever. i prayed for him. seeing him in that state makes my heart ache a lot. i had no idea what to do. but still i kept praying.
soon after i left to collect dinner, jeff left the campsite to go home. i came back to the campsite with ling yang (herbal tea) but he already left. that was sad. but nvm, i prayed that he'll get a good rest.

the game prison break was really funny. although my heart was really worried for jeffrey, i know i had to be strong in camp. for the campers, i still had to be happy. it was a struggle. but i tried my best. and i know i really did my best in being happy. walking around, taking photos, spending time in the torture chamber lifted my spirits a little higher.
by the time, we had to go back to our bunks to rest, it was already 1am+. As i started praying to God for an assurance. i came upon this verse.
Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
In my heart after reading this verse, i told God, i know he'll carry me through, he'll carry jeffrey through. i cried and went to bed.

day 2
i woke up in the morning shocked. i received a sms that jeff went to a&e last night, and may be suspected of Dengue. I showed Esther the msg. and she prayed. i know i cried a lot in the morning. i just kept crying non-stop. every part of me was tired. the more i prayed, the worsen jeff's condition got. i had no idea why. my faith was even smaller than a mustard seed at that point of time. after crying i had to go down and join the campers. i tried to be strong. but i guess it was really written on my face, that im plain worried though i really tried my best to smile.
tears were constantly in my eyes. but there was nothing i can do. i just wanted to rush to his side and keep him accompany. but then i cldn't leave my duties in camp.

during worship and workshop, i could not worship at all. because i felt angry. i asked God why, why he allowed such things to happen? i ask God why no matter how much i pray, nothing turns for the better. i kept tearing. when the campers prayed for jeffrey in their own groups of 2 & 3s, i was touched by their sincerity. and later on, when ______ (i forgot who) started to lead in prayer for jeffrey, i just kept crying because i couldn't control anymore. and darren asked me whether i want to go visit jeffrey. he can send me there.
After thinking for a few minutes. i still decided to go. so i went. darren drove me there.
Seeing him, makes me a little comforted though he was still feeling very sick. ): i continued to pray and pray. and i left around 2pm after he slept. and headed to fort canning for the rest of the games.

played hop-scotch with ina, while waiting for the groups to find us. we were station masters (:
well, it was a really good game with ina, because after perspiring, my spirits were high.
but it slowly died out when there were more conflicts. i cried. and cried non-stop. felicia came to talk to me. slowly, i let things out. from what happened since day 0 till now. how much i've tried to be strong. how i felt God has abandoned me. how much i really didn't dare to pray anymore. after talking to her, i sat at the grand stand alone under the sky of stars, in the dark, alone with God and no one else.

I asked God, why? why have you not done anything? i kept crying so much. why is my faith so little i asked God? as i began to ask him, i began to recount 2 events that touched my heart. i remembered on the taxi to fort canning after visiting jeff, i prayed. i ask God why is there no miracle ? no matter how much i prayed? i closed my eyes and rested for awhile, a song on the radio started to play. the song prince of peace. the chorus goes, "there are miracles when you believe" i started to ask myself, when i believe? the next moment when i was back in school, and when i was going to step into the AVA room, i heard a camper tellling her group, "We believe in miracles."

As i sat and the grandstand thinking about believing with all my heart. i heard a voice asking me, "do you really believe? do you believe in me?" i started to cry again in desperation. i told God, i believe. i believe your works. I do believe!

and guess what? the next moment, i asked juliana to call home and ask about jeff, his mom said his fever has already subsided. immediately i thank God. i thank God for his miracles. i thank God for the lesson he made me go through. I thank God for his healing powers. and i was overjoyed.

day 3
Jeffrey came back to camp! he sent me the happiest smses in the morning. i was practically grinning wherever i went. i was just so happy. i think i learnt a lot the past few days. and God has definitely changed me in my prayers, in my faith.
had a few fun games. but then there were an increase in injuries and ill people. then tension started to rise among the committee and helpers. i started to realise that we had not prayed enough for the campers! and so i retreated and went to pray.
and true enough, there were no more injuries anymore. but it was really quite late to pray also being this was the last night.
this was the first time i ever prayed sincerely with love for every single camper,leaders and committee members. i really felt God's peace in my heart.

day 4.
im happy today. because i finally get to go home. i really wanted to go home. dying to go home. hahaa. then we headed back to church. and had a debrief. a long debrief but a good one.

end of camp (:

i have to apologise to Esther. i had not know of the budget and did not check properly. so im really sorry to said that you have overspent. and there were a lot of conflicts between both of us. i admit i was really upset. because i really do treat you as a good friend. and when things happen, i felt upset. i wondered about what i should do, how i should react. but many times in camp, you were also my encouragement. sharing with me many things. and i really thankyou.

yepp. and also thanks to felicia who also spoke to me. who encouraged me at the grandstand. thank you for the words that woke me up.

overall, i left camp with a good experience with God. thankyou camp committees for putting in so much effort (:
i love all of you.

loves.