Rainbow Love

seriously speaking; im kinda breaking inside.
breaking and tearing up at the fact of something.
sigh.

looking at myself, i just sorta realized without them, i am nothing. i know its not about man. its about God. but we as man, we need friends on earth.
i know i sound really pathetic now.

oh God, deal with me now please.
i just cannot accept the fact that im actually a loner.
sighh.

im gonna stop clinging on to her. im gonna stop clinging on to him. im gonna stop making it seem that they're my everything. but widen my circle of friends. that i will not be reduced to the state of doing things alone.
right now, i feel really upset. with no friends to really turn to.

Lord, you're the only one who understands the wrenching pain in me. you're the only one who can understand me. you're the only one who would really give me concern when im ill and in need of someone.
actually, im very lonely now and very insecure.
don't forsake me please.


today i went swimming alone. it was good. swam 13 laps in 1 hour. (: haha.
well slow & steady wins the race.
then met my darling boy. out for dinner. tampines mall was so crowded. so we decided to go whitesands. HK cafe again. my treat (: finally able to fulfil my promise to darling boy.

hmmm. talked bout lots of stuff. but none of it, were bout what i've been going through for the past weeks. feel like sharing but there's no one whom i can really share with. so God, its all to you. sighh.
i think its time i stop sticking to anyone. im kinda a bit closed up. but for the fact that i know God loves me, he loves me. i'll try my best not to let myself close up.
but each time i get hurt, each time i try to close up.

what in the world is wrong with me?
sigh. God what should i do now?

tmr will be better. i pray

loves.