trust.

back from dinner with emily.
typed the previous post in a rush.

i'm having a fever now.
terrible sorethroat too.
jus painted my nails gold and black.
rock! thanks emily for paying for the gold nail polish.
haha.

waiting for my nails to dry so i blog.

i was just thinking through everything; reconsidering every single lil detail.
i know i shouldn't be posting things here.
but i can't help it.
i'm too feverish to go write in my other diary.
& there are things i need to further sort out by typing it out.

trust. its very important in a r/s.
when you can't trust. ur r/s go haywire.
from the start till now.
i've always trusted him. trusted him that he'll protect me.
trusted him, that he'll love me always.
trusted him that no matter what difficulty i or we go through, we'll walk together.
and till now, i still trust him.

i asked myself this.
in the beginning, when you know that this r/s is gonna be a tough one.
not enough time to spend with each other.
yet you were able to accept him for who he really is.
and commit yourself into this r/s.
why can't i now not?
i always say. do what you need to do.
do what you have to do.
but am i really being supportive this way?
or am i trying to avoid the issue.
or am i just puting on a brave front. but tearing at the back.

people always say we seem like a perfect couple.
but i know that's not the case.
there's no such thing as a perfect couple in the world.

but all i want to do right now.
is to be really supportive by your side.
even when you'll be busy.
even when you'll not have time for me.
i want to support you in whatever decision you make or will make in the near future.

blog again later.
suffering from another attack of the stomachache.


ok back.
what i really want to say is that.
i want to be a supportive girlfriend in whatever you do.
even if it means we don't have time to spent with each other.
even if it means that i've to follow you around to places i do not like.
for you, i'm willing to do anything.

and i end off with,

i love you, jeffrey aw.


goodnights.