haha.
i'll just dish out a few (:
of course, this is my favorite animal. Polar rocks!
and i found ina's family (:
there is a bird hiding behind the tree :x
hahaha. nice cozy hut (:
i believe this is Jeff's cousin (: the lion so nua. he don't want to pose for photo!
and a nice pair of love parrots (:
i miss the zoo so much.
i miss laughing so much & just simply enjoying ourselves - just the two of us.
& right now, while you're so busy and i'm sitting at home facing this laptop all alone, i feel so emo. ):
qiqi is feeling really weird this few days. i don't know how to explain or describe this feeling.
anyway, i worked on a small lil project for a whole 1 hour +.
and by working on this small project, its very heart warming. i won't be saying what is it about (: when the time is ripe, you shall know (: hee.
<------random thoughts starting from here ----->
its true that i've to admit that i'm helpless and recognize the fact that God is the only one who can help me.
but many a times, i just struggle on my own without realizing.
it took me quite awhile to realized, i'm still on my healing journey & i haven't recovered yet even though i thought i did.
and Jesus, i'm telling you, its really aching so much. & i suddenly don't know where to turn to.
the world seem so weird. everyone seem so distant. christians or non-christians. we are still your children. but, sigh, i don't know. i don't seem to be able to describe this feeling.
you know, many times, in the lonesome night, i feel like something is amiss from life.
and sometimes, i find myself denying that i'm not alright. because i always felt that, as a christian, you should show pple that you have a really blessed life. and people keep telling me that, leaving me no space to breathe.
sometimes, i wish i could just live in my own world and not recognize that i need others in my life.
i have to be strong, i have to protect myself from all the hurts.
but the more i try to, the more pain it gets.
so Lord, i'm telling you that i cannot do this alone. and i really really need you by my side.
there was a period of time, when i felt that you've forsaken me. but i know you've not, and you'll really be by my side always and always.
i need you so much.
life is really hard. really really hard.
and filled with people that i cannot understand & people that cannot understand me.
i'm often distressed over how insignificant i am, how useless i am, how hopeless i am.
i just wonder where is my worth.
what is my worth, am i just nothing or do i mean something to people, to God.
and this is a really sad post, because as i'm typing, my heart aches.
& i think i need to seek God instead.
bye.
off to seek God (:
