I have an Awesome God.

days have been flying past so fast that i can barely catch my breath.
i was once again defeated by my own health.
went to work with a sickening flu and drowsiness.

but really thank God that Aunty Margaret asked me to return home at 12pm, after the morning session was released. i didn't ask for it. i wanted to stay because i know it is my responsibility and that i was supposed to do teabreak and closing. but i was really giddy that i could hardly walk around. so i cabbed back.
and many sorrys to Aunty Catherine and Aunty Margaret, having to take all my roles for the day and having to go home late ):

i owe them one.

many exciting events are coming up. some are events that i think i'm not capable of doing.
some are events that simply blows me off my feets.
for example, the coming up combined choir for GDOP. those who don't know what GDOP is, it means Global Day of Prayer.
singing in choir at a country level. hmmm. i have been discouraged to a certain extent.
due to my work, i have not been attending choir practices for the last 3 sessions.

i know that people have been telling me i have improved so much in my singing techniques since i first joined and that i can sing. that singing can be nurtured. you may not have the talent, but if you practice hard and well, your singing will be okay.
but then again, i really am discouraged. discouraged by the alto parts.
my first challenge came when i had to stop singing melody but parts instead.
and that's smth i have difficulties with.

and it affects my worship with God. because i'm too concerned bout the way i produce the sounds, the way my parts turn out to be. so instead of gaining, being refreshed and renewed, i'm throughly drained.

is this supposedly the way of worship. i doubt so. but GDOP is a new challenge. to face myself, to learn new things from other members of different churches.


and my next tiring event will be the whole of june holidays.
it'll be a month of just planning and planning for the children. i really need a lot of stamina for this. i cannot fall sick.
irregardless of how many times, i tell myself that, i still fall sick.

and i think highquest: transformation from worry to rest. is trying to speak to me. why am i worrying about falling sick. when i have a Big God?
this is stupid and dumb.


baby is in camp now. i'm glad i can meet him for dinner tmr. it'll be good to chat with him again.
things went haywired last Sunday, but we ended it off well with a great swim at Changi (:

today i was just sitting down and recollecting bout the past.
because tmr will be our 19th month together.
the first day we met was in church.
and i could not take my eyes off him.

i realized smth bout myself. that i can never be able to mutter the words "i love you" unless it is unto someone whom i really love with all of my heart.
we went through so much. so much to get to this day.
from all the busy-ness. from you graduating, to work, to army. the days that we could hardly meet, we pulled through all. and now the greater challenge. army.
but because of all these trials, we bonded even better. as we look forward to marriage hand in hands, i believe God will provide ways for us.

looking at the ring that you've given me with the promise that you'll marry me and love me, i just feel so much warmth in my heart.
i pray that God will just continue to be in control of our relationship. help us to shine together as a couple. help us be a good role model to the younger ones.
i pray that He will continue to pour out his blessings on both of us.
amen (:



i know my post is a lil draggy today.
but i'm trying to do some reflections (:


thank God for everything in my life right now.
God is awesome!