Rainbow Love

Dear Gracious Father,
today is christmas. but i am in an unpeaceful state. i feel the rage in me. i feel the need to pour out everything. i feel the tears in my eyes. i want to be happy during christmas. Because Jesus is born to save me. save the world. but why do i feel such resentment and bitterness in me. Why is it that i feel no one is around to talk to me? why do i sense loneliness in my heart?
this christmas, all i want is a good relationship with my mother. because of the war that is waging in me, i have no peace. Father, please take away all these bitterness in me. that i may be strong and fulfill my mother's expectation of a wonderful daughter.
in Jesus's name i pray, Amen.


i know its christmas. i know i sound really down. crying&all. but i feel really bad inside.
i love my mother. But because i love her; the things that she says become smth that really pierce my heart so much. I don't mind doing the housework. But she gotta understand that i have plenty of work to do. I don't go out and play all the time. I have school. I have a part-time job. i feel like running away from home.

im hurt. im tired. im in pain.
so Jesus, take all these away from me.
SIGH.

relationships are the most fragile things in the world.
but. im not gonna escape from all these obstacles. im gonna walk through it. because i have faith in God. He'll pull me through everything!

okay. christmas outreach was fantastic last night. Simon came. and i am so proud of him. that he finally made the first step back. and im really glad he enjoyed the whole outreach.
He said all of us are friendly and really nice people. hurray shalom!
(((:
im glad.

hahas.
i won't go into details. because im tired.
and ina. im not gonna explain bout what happen when i was blindfolded. HAHA. byeeee.