i love, i love, i love you so much.
Yesterday, i had an awesome day.
struggled within myself whether to help Darren with his assignment.
and then i decided to help him. but i didn't help him 100% though.
i still felt that if i'm doing it for him, then its not helping him.
so i only helped him with skeleton codes.
hmm. i hope that's good enough because yesterday was his submission date.
then i left for MP briefing. MP briefing was a killer.
i've so much stuff to do now in the next two and a 1/2 week.
i don't know how am i going to get through it.
i only pray that God will just pull me through.
shall post my schedule for my own convenience.
these are the times i'm going to do my project with my group
6 Aug Monday: 6pm onwards to midnight/next morning
- Sending of screenshots to Benson
- Coding for Rooney's part
- Solve all the loopholes for the web
7 Aug Tuesday: 11am - 4pm, 8.30pm onwards
- Meet Rooney to do the coding
- Coding/Debugging with group
- work on windows application
8 Aug Wednesday 3pm-6pm
- Coding/Debugging
- Windows App
- Meeting with supervisor
9 Aug Thursday (National Day) 10 pm to next morning
- integration
10 Aug Friday 8pm to next morning
- Group report
- work on appendices
11, 12 Aug
- do individual report at home.
13 Aug 6pm onwards to next morning
- Group report/appendices
14 Aug Tuesday 8.30pm to next morning
- Compilation
15 Aug Wednesday 3pm to midnight
- preparation for powerpoint slides
- video-filming
16 Aug Thursday 10pm to next morning
- powerpoint slides
- video filming
17 Aug Friday (heading from Tampines Mart to School immediately)
- submission of product.
from 20th to 23th Aug, our product launching will be on any of those dates mentioned. and that means more work to be done. 1 hour of presentation ):
and getting people to fill in public rating form - getting students/lecturers to rate our product. whether it's commercial a not.
on the 24th, i'm having my marketing exam paper. which means the only time to study, is every in between, when i'm free.
27th Aug WSAD exam.
30th Aug ECSA exam. (i need plenty of time to prepare for this paper, because i've to do research for it. there are no notes on it yet)
Queen, if you're reading this. keep me in prayer. (: i need strength! haha.
this is the ultimate stress i'm feeling. although i've been reassuring myself that God will pull me through. i'm still very overwhelmed by the workload. i'll still press on and do my best.
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yesterday night.
i had the most amazing & sweetest & romantic night that i never had before.
we went to Gelare to collect Esther & my pay.
then we headed to ECP hongkong cafe. (:
the food was great as usual.
both of us decided to go sit by the beach. [jeffrey alway tells me he never like beaches]
until much later then i found out why he never like going beaches anymore.
well, both of us just sat at the rocks. and listened to my MP3. worship songs, emo songs. happy songs. all kind of songs. we sat at the rocks for close to 3 whole hours. hoho.
spent so much time talking to each other bout our lives. the things he's been through. the girls. hahahahaha. i'm always interested in hearing those stories, though at point of times, i get a lil jealous. haha. but better than not knowing anything right! haha.
so, i also talked to him bout myself. bout my sec school days. bout everything.
and at that most amazing point of time, i felt so comforted with him being with me.
of course, i want to stand up again. of course i do not want to be sorrowful all my days.
but wait and see okay, i'll be the most joyful girl soon (:
anyway, i never really get to chat with him the way we chatted last night.
because both of us were always so busy. it was just so hard to really talk.
but last night, it was a really good & amazing opportunity to just sit side by side and hear each other speak.
and i thank God with all my heart, that i've found someone who would love me. who would really care for me the way i wanted him to. i've found that someone who would give me all that i needed.
and so, i told him. even if i'm only 1% in your heart. that's enough. (actually, there were tears in my eyes. because i was touched and thankful) but he replied, out of all the girls out there, you take up 80%. i told him, that's enough for me.
actually, i know that his attention span is very short. if he stops loving me one day, if he falls in love with another one, my only choice would be to let him go. and i told him, i wouldn't beg you to stay by my side. because that's not smth i would do. it would only make myself seem so much pathetic. so if that day comes, i'll let you go.
but you know, in my heart. i can already feel the aching pain inside.
like what Esther told me, i've to hold on things loosely on earth. i am afraid of losing because i lost before. but i should still be brave and be able to face losing smth again.
i am lost in my thoughts now.
i'm overwhelmed by the conversation we had last night.
with joy, with a lil of sorrow. but no matter what, i still want to thank God for walking with me. for bringing me to this day. for pulling me up each time i fall.
and with all these,
i pray that jeffrey, he will come to understand me more as each day passes.
that he'll understand why i react differently to things at time. i pray that he'll learn to accept me for who i really am. and that i'll accept him for who he really is.
i pray that even if i know that i cannot be compared to those girls who he really loved before, i'll be someone who is worthy of his love. i pray that i'll be healed from all the past unresolved issues one day. and that i'll be his pillar of support each time he needs me.
thankyou Jesus. for bringing me to this point of my life. thankyou for every situation that i've been in. amen.
my post has been long. but a post that's worth posting.
qiqi, press on. and be strong irregardless of whatever the situation is (:
God loves me. and you too. and everyone too
