my tagboard has gone nuts.

i can't remember my login id and password to my tagboard's website.
so i really can't be bothered now. not at the moment cause its only 7 am.
my eyes ain't fully awake yet.

have to leave for work in half an hour. but it's a really look forward to.
every new day has the different challenges for me to handle.
(:

i spent the terrific weekends with my baby. though he booked in at 4pm on sunday.
he's super super sweet.
on friday night, he pop by church (while i thought he was still in camp) and he surprised me!
haha. really love him lots. and we managed to catch a movie "P.S. I love You" and it's a really must catch. so touching!! haha.

i miss him dearly.
haha.
so weird.

this week isn't as packed as last week. praise God for that. so that i've moments where i can rest.
but still, be free to call me out!
thurs there's choir practice. hope i'll have strength for that. cause i'll be working one full day at TK, then at church. but in Christ, my strength will be renewed, i'll soar on wings like eagle. AMEN!


blessed week to the rest of you.
lots of love (:

valentine's special

valentines is really a commercialized event.

but yet, couples still celebrate this special day.

i was quite down initially. because this was the first year, i had to celebrate v day alone.

but during the last minute after work, dorcas invited me to her place for dinner.

and i guess it was really good, though i was exhausted after work and i fell asleep twice.

haha.

but i learnt how to cook a dish.

and when i returned home. i found a bouquet of sunflowers. that my dear had specially ordered for by delivery. (it cost alot man)

haha. i was surprised. really touched too.

then we celebrated our valentine's on sat.

hmm. actually the twosome became a family lunch.

haha. then we head back to home, because of exhaustion i guess.

then i prepared dinner.

hahaha. so i cooked (:

and he loved the food. he finished up the whole pot.

i'm just so glad he love it.

although it was a very short time. but it was really quality time spent.

we could just sit down and talk about our relationship. ways to make it more Godly.

and we recommitted our relationship to the father.

we've came a long way. going through a lot of ups and downs. there were plenty of tough time. not being able to meet up and all. but i'm so glad, that we have God in our lifes.

because God is the one who holds our relationship so tightly.

i'm very thankful this valentines, that i've got a good guy to protect me, to love me, to hold me in his arms. i'm very thankful that this is the guy God has permitted me to be with, to be finally engaged with and ready for marriage.

i'm thankful that this is the only guy that i was able to open my heart up to. to be able to talk problems out. to talk and encourage each other, being each other's pillar of support.

i thank God for answering both of our prayers at that moment of time.

i pray that we will continue to love each other, to be strong in our relationship. and may God continue to bless our relationship that will prosper. let us be the couple that serve you always.

in the most precious Lord's name Jesus Christ, Amen.

loving them always.

more pictures of other children i managed to take pictures of (:



this is xiuwen. she has a lovely smile. very teachable. very clingy. but very cute (:

i'm not sure whether this is jimson or brandson. cause they are twins. haha. i was told that the more active one is jimson. so i think this is jimson. they are special kids. but they are very adorable. though i do get hurt while taking care of them.

this is ruifeng. he is very smart. a primary 1 boy. but i heard that when he was in K2, he could already do P2's work. i enjoy teaching him. cause he's a fast learner (: and he's smile is gorgeous.

my heart melts. haha.

this is angel. she's a lil hard to teach. because of her random attitude problem. working on it.
but she's quite an adult (: haha. she's p3 i think.

this is my buddy at work. caron. she has a great heart. and great patience. a virtue i must learn from her. haha.

this is my dear p1 jonathan. he's bogay.. but very small and cute.

my whole week at student care has taught me quite a lot of lessons.

1) respect must be earned not demanded.
look at auntie imm, jacinta or frankie. they have their way of handling kids. although they're fierce, the kids still respect them.

2) it takes a lot of compassion, patience and love to deal with the special children. but i'm deeply reminded that Jesus loves little children. so i pray that i will have a heart like Jesus.

3) taking care of childrens are very challenging. you've to be alert at all times and not let your guard down. or things might happen.

4) it is not the shouting, the screaming, the scolding at children that disciplines them. it is the reasoning, the heart that tells them you care and you love them that helps them obey you.

5) i've been reminded to keep relying on God's strength and not mine. afterall, this is God's ministry. not mine, not auntie imm, not auntie margaret. i'm not working for the sake of getting a job. but it's a ministry that touches life.

so this are the main points i got out of one week. it had been really tough. but this is a race marked out for me at this moment. i want to end off well. to be a fulfillment. God has placed me in Telok Kurau to do a different work. it may seem tough at first. but i know that there are things that i need to do. and this really reminds me of my objective in working at student care.

and so dear friends, my prayer request this season is that:

1) i will be able to have that heart like Jesus who loves little children

2) i will have patience and endurance to deal with these children

3) i will be healthy and not fall sick so easily (i'm doing smth bout it.)

4) that i will always remember that it's God ministry and to rely on his strength.

5) that my righteousness is not mine, its from God.

6) provide me with many opportunities to touch lives

7) to love the unlovable with all my heart.

8) not to be too emotionally attached to all the children. but to be brave and move on to telok kurau primary in two weeks time.

i know my prayer request is long. but please keep me in prayers.
with lots of love.

valentine's post coming up next.

attachment photos !!

like i said, i will upload photos!
haha.
this are the people that i mix around with every day at attachment (:


left to right: Nazim, Trina, Jessie, Me, Khar Eng
Joy & Me

Seri (: she's very funny arh!

Shikin! (:
Khar Eng, Roger, Me

Serene (:

Seri, Me, Audrey
Rebecca (:
(she very pretty right?)
my lovable pauline (: hahaha miss her a lot you know!

she very funny arh!

this is the most awesome place in SAL, it's at the gallery upstairs. and the view is so good !

and attachment has ended. time to move on.

haha.

had a great time the last week at attachment (:

hmmm, and i'm so tired now. off to sleep for awhile and wait for baby to call

another challenging day tmr

people have been telling me i have lost weight.

hmm, even after cny, there are still pple who ask me , "qiqi you look like you lost a lot of weight."

haha. that's a good thing!

hahaha. hopefully i will lose more while i work at student care. since i'm on my feet most of the day.

and looking after the children is really not easy!

looking forward to tmr (:

btw, i'm having a lonely valentine's this year.

bleah. miss my baby so much !

hehe.

updates (:

long post ahead (:
haha.

been so busy lately.
chinese new year & my first day of work at BCCSC student care.


chinese new year was a blast.
it was like a total of 5 days + spent with my love.
and it was more than enough.

i miss him dearly though. pictures with him (:


went to seletar camp again with baby! with costa too. he was the photographer. (:
i really love that place. haha.

met up with lynette the 2nd last day before attachment ended. missed her really a lot.
we caught up with each other a lot! and its really a lot! and she's leaving for shanghai soon.
sigh so depressing.
btw, lynette, i just want to tell you that student care is a fulfiling job. its making me smile all over again (: i will pick myself up. i promise you that when you come back from shanghai, you'll see a different me (: i love you lots!

i shall upload my photos on my last day of attachment later.
but right now,
i'm introducing to you my two most lovable children in student care. they are so cutee! (:
there are more. but they wouldn't let me take their pictures.
they started punching me when i wouldn't delete it. -.-

the one on the right is lovable vanessa, she's a really good girl and pretty too. on the left, is her good friend denise. sweet lil girl (:

i tell you, both of them started playing some role-playing game. denise served vanessa imaginery food. and they are so cute lah! haha.

this is jensen. i'm not sure whether i got his name right. but he's really lovable.


he posed for me! i was so so happy.
he was like, "qiqi jiejie, do you have a boyfriend?"
then i was like, "yah, i have"
and he and ezekiel went "eeeeeeeee."

super funny.
i would miss them a lot if i go to Telok Kurau Primary ))))):
hope i don't get too emotional.

today's work was really the ultimate.
the best job i ever had in my entire life.
something that was just so lively. (:
i feel so alive now.
hahaha. but my ears are like dying of the noise made.
and i hope i don't lose my voice
i had a hard time trying to bring 4 kids from the playground back to student care.
hahaha.

may God bless me with his guidance and patience with the kids!!
hahaha.
but i love.


(:

SIP ending (:

just when attachment is coming to and end, i begin to enjoy the company i have here, the environment, the food and i'll miss it all.

its been a great joy coming to know the people working here.
had my fair share of laughter and joy. of course the times, where i just worked non-stop too. running from places to places, but it was all so great (:



recently, i've been dwelling in a problem that i do not know how to get out of there.
but i appreciate the fact that there are people around me.
my polar, my best friend and ate.

it was really so comforting to know that there are people who bothers.
i try my best not to dwell in there.
now, i'm very bloated.
had a super duper full lunch with pauline and seri (:
had a great time too.
that right now, i'm dozing off.


lots of emails has been sent between pauline and i.
she's a mad crazy lady.
but i love (:



god bless to all at work (:

(:

i love you baby.

baby booked out on friday night.

went simpang bedok with him & his parents and joyce.

really fabulous time spent together. & i love the food (:

been jogging 3 times a week for the last two weeks. i think its really good to lift up your Sprits.

yesterday baby had a high fever in the morning, pulled myself out of bed at 6am cause i had stupid stomach pains. and then rushed to his house to nurse my sick baby.

haha. he was really warm when i reached his place. i reached at 7am!

hmm, poor thing.

but God being so good, being our healer, baby was well by noon. let him sleep more. & some stupid random stuff happen. i was brawling like a baby then. not wanting to let him go for mentoring cellgroup. -.- haha. maybe it was due to the last two weeks, trying to be really strong and not shed a single tear, i cried so much on saturday. and he cried. i was really upset that i made him cried.

but again, it always melt my heart to see him shed a single tear. (: he's my precious.

haha. then sunday went to church with a heavy heart not due to him, but a lot of other struggles and burdens. so worship was power today!

it was one that you can just see everyone so touched by God's presence, wanting more & more of him. i was totally touched to tears, reminded of God's grace and love, that we are forgiven.

so it was really a moment, where i could just sing out praises for God in whatever circumstances - good or bad.

sermon was a good one too.

so i can say, i'm really renewed in Spirit today (:

i'm going to catch my beauty sleep soon.

i miss my baby so much as usual.

saturday afternoon or sunday morning he'll be back, whatever it is. God bless him, protect him, keep him healthy, help him excel in everything he does. i pray that God will grant him favor with his superiors. he'll not get into trouble. and just be with him 24/7. and thankyou Father, for a great man you've given me. (:

amen.

it is so true, that a christian must marry a christian. so that they can nurture and grow spiritually in Christ (:

and boy, why did i not meet you earlier? you're the best thing that ever happened to me.

i was reminded of what aaron chan said, "you're gonna be with him for eternity, on earth for prolly another 80 years and in heaven forever!"

hahhaa. that's true! & everything is just so awesome!

baby, having you by my side really really make me feel blessed.

but i know i've to snapped out of this love fantasy and be independent.

and my goal right now is: to do well at Student Care, to impact and touch the lives of the children.

this is definitely not my end-point, but oh Lord, whatever it is you want me to do for you, i'll obey you and do your good works. i pray you'll guide me, you'll teach me your ways. and i'll just grow and draw closer to you.

(:

blessed week, everyone.

p.s Valentine's is coming soon. hehehe.

life can be pretty unpredictable

life can be a bore, it can be full of joy and hope or it can be one that's full of bitterness and sorrow.
to me, i prefer it to be full of joy and hope (who doesn't) but sometimes, it gets a tad too boring because you go through the same routine lifelessly.
for example, waking up at 6am, boarding bus 359, taking the train to city hall (sometimes you get a seat, sometimes you don't), walking to Aldephi to buy breakfast and then walking to supreme court, go through the detector. and blah blah blah, the list goes on.

but out of the usual routines, there will be unexpected event that spices up your life (:
like... having to joke with nazim (when sometimes his jokes are not too funny), talking to khar eng about the baby boy in her stomach and etc etc.

and i've just got a new after-graduation job!
i got through my interviews (:
although i will be on 3 months probation, i know that God has really led me to this job, this ministry i call it. and i know i've lots of obstacles to face. but i will eventually get through it!
so friends, i will be at church for the 1st month for intensive training, and then i'll be stationed at Telok Kurau Primary. (why do my life always have to associate with Telok Kurau ?)

haha.
amazing.

ok so attachment is ending in 10 days excluding the weekends.
i'm elated. but i will miss the people here very much.
hehe.



you know, i was going through my portfolio yesterday. and i flared up and wipe off all the words written with a correction tape.

the question was: What do you see yourself as in 5 years?
my answer was: be married to XXX, be happy with all my friends ________ (who doesn't exist in my life anymore)

i was screaming inside my head with so much fury at how stupid childish i was.

let's go on.
the 2nd question was: What do you see yourself as in 30 years?
my answer was: have lots of children with that same XXX, be really good friends with ______ (same as above)

and XXX is someone whom i definitely would not like to see or face for the rest of my life.
bad bad memories.
and its a struggle that i've been telling God about. erase those memories :x

you know what i mean right?
i almost died.
and surprisingly, the changes not only came with an increase in age, but also because i started to walk closely with God.
such drastic difference in maturity in a short 1 and a 1/2 year.

and right now, i miss jeff.
hahhaa. i wonder if polar bear goes field camp, will he transformed into sun bear?


hmmm. interesting.

friday, come soon please!

i'm back

wow.

i haven't had time to blog for so long.

attachment has kept me away for soooo long!

haha.

and now as baby is in camp, i still don't have much spare time.

hmmm.

i've taken on another new direction in life. its as if, i'm ready for the next phase of life.

and that's getting a job after graduation.

maybe some updates.

i've gone for a interview for BCCSC Student Care. and my 2nd interview will be next tues (:

i've prayed, have been seeking God regarding this issue, and i really felt that God is calling me to it. if you want to know more, msn me. haha.

its totally awesome how God really works in my life. the way he prepares me for every single event. his words, meditation and everything. i can only say wow.

i've just came back from shalom retreat 4 days ago.

it was really awesome. i was really refreshed and recharged. both spiritually and physically (:

praise God for his wonderful & amazing work in Shalom and for giving us that wake up call.

haha.

just came home from dinner with ina. she treated cause she got her pay.

its becoming a trend huh ina!

when i get my pay, i treat you. you get yours - you treat me.

& thats what friends are really for.

besides, you've a greater responsibility. i'm not your normal friend. haha, but we are a&c partners plus gorilla/baboon mates for LIFE. and i mean it. God didn't place you in my life for nothing. i really appreciate everything you've done for me.

its awesome knowing someone like you cares and have not give up.

from the first day i stepped into BBTC. and from the times we had some problems. God is really transforming both of us. as what jeff always love to say, "as iron sharpens iron, man sharpens man" haha. i think that's really the case for both of us.

(:

pictures!

introducing to you my polar bear.

my christmas present to jeff.

photos with jeff eversince he came out of camp (:

hehe (:
i love his head. its really nice to feel. and he's really a polar bear now.
haha.

my sweet love. i love you (:

and with a new direction in life that i'm heading towards, days seem to just fly past.
haha. and i really miss my love (: