turning point

recently, during this down period, it has become a journey of faith.
i went through the anxiety of not getting a job. i went through the anxiety of not knowing where to head on next. be it social work or teaching.
i prayed, i cried, i begged anxiously to God. I asked, I shouted for help. I told God i could not take it anymore.

for a few weeks, this lasted. each time i went to church, i asked for the same thing. each time i prayed during my quiet time, i asked for the same thing.
do i have faith as much as a mustard seed?
I really have to ask myself that.
Sunday i went up to the altar to surrender all my worries and struggles to the Lord.
when i thought i had no gifts or talents, when i had no directions. I prayed and asked God for my next step, lead the way for me. I cried out to Him once more with all my worries and pain.
and the next thing i knew, there was going to be a change. i know definitely for sure, there'll be a way out soon. something just snapped, and something was going to change.

today i went for an interview as an Accounts Manager. I'm not sure whether i'll get the job,but i know i did well for the interview. I wanted to excel in it. and i knew i did it. all for the glory of God.


anyway, i read a friend's blog. although i do not know who she is refering to. but deep in my heart, i know there are unresolved issues between her and i.
for the many times, i held so much bitterness against her. my heart desired many times to be close to her, to be able to embrace this friendship with lots of love. but many times, i have been rejected indirectly. each time i was around her, i felt like i was hated. i felt a strong sense of displeasure. each time i wanted to clarify things with her, i put it behind my mind. i said, no.

I didn't want things to be one-sided. I didn't want it to be just an one-sided friendship. As days, then months go pass, i felt myself dreading this friendship. I was so afraid to be hurt once more. I was so afraid of the remarks she often remarked, i was so afraid of her being displeased with me. and so i distant myself. I hide away from her.

recently, she came to talk to me. she told me stuff that we once shared about. Deep in my heart, there was a small tinge of happiness. but i was afraid it wouldn't last. cause previously, she would talk to me only when she likes it, on the other times, i would be pushed away like dirt.
I cried and despair over this friendship many times.
and when structural changes took place last year, i was a little glad. because i didn't want to be the cause of her displeasure. everything about her just meant so much to me. only, she didn't know.

I didn't want to cry over this loss anymore. i drifted. and it's not only her that makes me feel so lost. but i don't want to go into that now.
After i read her blog, i prayed. I told God honestly how much pain there is, i asked God, can i forgive her now? after many many months, can i let go of the bitterness in my heart?
I do want to see a change in this friendship, but i have no idea how anymore.
I still love her.


and now, after pouring these out. my heart feels better.

out of boredom

presenting to you.. puggy in her favorite bumblebee outfit (:
ok not hers. my favorite. haha.
i didn't torture her. it was only for a short while :x haha.
she's so cute. SEE, she enjoys it.

guess what she's looking at? no prize if you guess correctly. haha.

Out of boredom and excitement for my interview at 3.30pm, i took these pictures. my first time taking number pictures (: HAHA.

I'm ready for my interview ! When God is with me, no one can be against me ! off i go! (:

Goodbye Jeremy, come back soon (:

Today LFC met up at Changi Airport to send our beloved brother, Jeremy off. He's going Brisbane for further studies in Psychology (:
He'll be back end of this year. I guess all of us will really miss him dearly. He has been such a good friend and company providing us with all the laughs and everything.
oh well, Jeremy, do take care when you're there. Sorry I can't be your personal Assistant.
too far away from jeffrey. haha. joke!


anyway, i have been searching hi and low for a part time/temporary job. Hopefully in admin or teaching. I have also successfully send in my application for NIE. I am currently waiting for end march to arrive, so that at least i could have some news.

It's quite hard to look for part time/temporary job. Even tougher than when i was in poly studying. yikes, the economy is getting to me. so i decided to push back my plans to study social work.

so currently, if this is God's will, i hope to get into NIE then after teaching for a few years, further my studies in Social Work/Counselling (:

right now, i can only pray that NIE is part of God's plan for me.
and continue trusting that he'll provide me a job (:


after sending jeremy off, we went to HK cafe at East Coast Park. It was enjoyable chatting with my cell members again (: haha. but most of the time, Christine and I was often teased by people. Ok, more of me being teased by people. haha. the most awkward thing happen, but i shan't say at all. Bleah. but definitely LFC are a great bunch of people more than anything else.
we are definitely the cell that do not have cliques at all. because we are just one big clique. haha.

i have been diarrhoea-ing since i returned from Batam on Sunday. It's actually quite seriously, hopefully i'll pull myself to the docs. HAHA -.-
HOPEFULLY :/

faith tested.

After i came back from Taiwan on the 21st of January, I have been searching for a job opening at the children homes, student care centre. but there were no openings.
I finally managed to contact Salvation Army, but there was no reply.
I tried the different tuition agency, there were no news.

now, now, i really feel like the economic crisis is affecting me.
and i'm jobless now.
i'll be looking for Part Time job preferably something to do with teaching or children. :/
but it's really not easy.

sigh. SIM or NIE now. if you were me and you're limited for choices due to financial constraint.
would you rather go into NIE where you are bonded with the gov and have your school fees, salary all covered? Or would you choose to keep hanging around, crossing your fingers hoping you would find a job then apply for SIM Social work.

or, i can choose to go NIE, and complete the bond, then take a masters in Social Work.

right now, i can only leave it to God
I surrender my planning into His hands.

it has been like a rollercoaster looking for a job. everything seem to go downhill for me at the moment.
i would really love to be encouraged at this moment. but it's hard.

just when i thought i should try to apply for NIE incase. i could not. because i lost my polytechnic result slip. and it takes 5 working days to process. (but thanks jame, for helping me go to one stop service centre (: )
and i just pray hard i will not miss the closing date ):
then i thought, i should apply for relief teaching. but. i could not get in the website no matter how i try.
i rang moe up. they said the website is running.
can this really be God's will?

Sigh. what does God really want me to do?


anyway, on the happier note..
i'll be going to batam this weekend with jeffrey and his family (:
his cousin is having her second wedding dinner at batam this time round.
and it's gonna be a 100 tables!


i'm blogging quite early because, in the midst of my sleep, i turned to my left side, and saw a cockroach running. and i was woke up because i'm scared!
haha. it went under my bed. then i dare not sleep anymore.

but i sprayed lots of baygon. -.-
hahaha.

sigh. if you have job opportunities for me.. please contact me ok! (:

last update till i come home

i'm going back to taipei today and there's no more internet access. so i can't come online and chat anymore. boohoooo. my 3rd aunt keep rushing my mom and i to return back to taipei.
my mom refuses to take a train instead. a train's journey takes only 1 hour, but the bus journey takes 5 hours. but as you can guess. the ticket is more expensive by 20 sing dollars.


i seriously detest my looks now. sigh...
i don't want to come back to singapore looking like this!
no choice right. pray very hard my curls will go away soon.
haha.

take care my friends till i'm back. will catch up with all of you soon especially ina! YOU!

BYEEEEE.

exploded head

between 4pm to 5pm, i acquired an exploded head.
i was in a mad scientist lab. and she decided to do some experiment with some chemicals. and all of a sudden, there was a loud explosion. smoke started to rise up from my head.
my hair was on fire......


i wish -.-
i went to the salon today. sat there for close to 6 hours. almost died of boredom. and i had a exploded head. the hairdresser could not understand my chinese. i could not understand her chinese either. that was a mistake -.- now i've an exploded head which totally look like a toy poodle. please do not laugh at me when i come home. promise?


i have finally reached tainan. ok. i was here since last night. tainan is much more enjoyable. because i've a cousin here who brings me around and pampers me. haha. attention seeker i am.
i'm going to the hot spring tmr. and tmr the temperature is only 6 degree celcius. imagine hot spring. wheeeee. (:
love it.


ok. that's my update will be back home in 13 days. whoohoo.



p.s happy 28 month-sary darling (: i love you.

it just occured to me it's past new year

freezing. the weather is really cold over here.
i've been at taiwan for a week already.
2 and a half more to go !

photos are not here with me. it's with my brother. so i shall not blog too much bout taiwan.
anyway, i have been trying to just enjoy myself here. but it isn't that easy to enjoy at all.
most of the time, i just become sulky.

well, my brother is finally married. but i won't say i have accepted his wife or rather my second sister-in-law. i really tried to accept her, to respect and love her. but sometimes, it is just so difficult. i hate the way my brother is so fearful of his wife. everything she wants, he must get it for her, everything she says, my brother must listen. sighhh.

and now they have returned back, i'm here all alone with my mother and my relatives whose age all ranges from 45 - 80. this is really so complicated.
well, shopping here isn't really fabulous at this timing because it's all long sleeves. well, i'm quite used to wearing long sleeves in singapore, so it shouldn't be a problem. i have already spend so much, so much. have to control my buys here la.

hahaa. i miss everyone back in singapore especially jeffrey and my daughter, puggy.
miss them so much

will blog again soon (:

i'll be in taiwan for 3 and a half weeks.

i thought since i won't be around for the new year, i might just blog. (:
i'll be leaving tmr to taiwan.

this whole year, it has been a good and fruitful year. in terms of growth, lifestyle, friendship, relationships, things has just been getting better and better.

for the first half year, i have been feeling pretty dry, not being able to grow much. even relationships with other people had been really trying, and tiring.
i have been disappointed by people whom are supposedly the closer ones to me time and time again. it made me questioned myself silently in my heart. I still care somehow bout the way she or he reacts when i pass by them every week. but the other side of me has decided to stray away. because it isn't worth it.

and later on, after months of praying about it, and still not being able to really get over it, there was a change. I believed God heard my prayers. He heard my struggles. time and time again, i stray into the lane of bitterness and hatred. but time and time again, i denied myself and surrendered it all to God. And i am still trying to make that conscious effort.

then came the time when i saw a breakthrough in my life at kuantan camp. It has been a turning point for me. to face reality, to face the things that i have been hiding from. Transformation just came the moment i opened my heart to it. and once more, God's presence has been so overwhelming in my life.

and then the spliting of cell came about. no more shalom. and i don't know why, i'm very glad bout it now. as i reflect. I knew i wasn't growing anymore. things were different. and when i stepped into living faith cell, i know God was doing His changes in many of the Shalom members.
i didn't dare to say out loud, that i was really glad to change cell, but now it's different.
I enjoy myself throughly. i see the way cell works. and it's really different. of course, no comparison. But i sincerely thank God for helping me to fit in and grow in LFC.

now, towards the end of the year, kor just got married. and we'll be going to taiwan tmr already. i really am glad for kor and er-sao. (:
i pray that they will really be blessed, they will come to know Christ (:

i thank God for year 2008, it has been a great and fruitful year. thank God for all the trials that i've overcome through Christ, thank God for His unfailing love, His never ending grace and mercy upon me. (:

He's coming home (:

It took a miracle to put the stars in place,
It took a miracle to hang the world in space;
But when He saved my soul, cleansed and made me whole,
It took a miracle of love and grace! —Peterson

i read this in daily bread just now. and i like it.


the weekend have passed by so quickly. it just rocket past -.-
haha.
friday i had cell bbq to celebrate shermaine's and serena's birthday. it was awesome! the bbq, the games, the chit-chatting. haha. yipppee.

nice. i love this picture lots. haha. everyone was glowing from the heat of the bbq ? haha.

saturday, belinda came to fetch me to east coast park for our blading experience. haha.
christine and shaun were late as usual. -.-
hahaha. well, we had fun. but it's really tiring especially when my muscles were already aching like mad ): but fun chit-chatting la. haha. waiting for the rock climbing experience.
but i'm working on that day. hopefully i can make it!


today is finally monday. back to my school programmes planning. heh :x
i know the week will fly.
after cellgroup on friday, i'll be rocketing to jeff's house. so that at 1am we can all go airport together. how i miss him so much (:

hahaha.

and puggy is still so cute as ever (:

these few days...

i have been so so busy at work!
just an update on the recent activities at work (:

on tuesday, 12 volunteers from tpjc came to tkps to bring 10 of my students to S'pore Discovery Centre. (: and i was the staff-in-charge. the students were all very heartwarming and loving to the children. but the only bad thing was, i had nothing to do at all. but to follow them without knowing what are the plans ahead.

took a few random shots, when i was really bored.

belinda & i (:

Belinda with the reindeer display.

spot felicia peeping out of the hole (:

but anyway, i guess the whole trip ended off pretty well (:

on weds, we had some mini-relay game.
students had to run to a plate of flour with sweets hidden. and they had to use their mouths to pick the sweet out of the flour.
then they were supposed to run to the next point, where they were given flour water. they had to use chopsticks to pick out marbles from the bowl of flour water.
fun!


weixuan and his flour-y face (:
trying very hard to pick marbles...

still trying very very hard...

Dario almost giving up.
qi liang with his beard. hehe.

felicia with saliva dripping all over. she cried because she was scared of the flour. she swollowed it somehow, and ended up crying. so cute (:

Lucas, my handsome boy. being so afraid of the flour. not daring to his mouth to pick up sweets.


Belinda who sportingly turn back and let me take this shot. kudos to you

the different groups.

puiheng, justin, shao xiang, weizhen and siti at the back.

same picture with one more girl, Amanda.

Shiming, peixin and funny weixuan.

Seetjun, sofiyah, ruyu, qi liang, kenneth and shawn chong.

fernansa suah. my really sweet and cute girl.

she was running to the toilet to wash out all the yucky flour. and i stopped her to take this shot.



work has been fun. i've been running a lot. hope to lose some weight too!
will update more.

9 more long days before jeffrey is back from taiwan.
i miss him loads!


love you readers (if there are any...)

come home safely dear.

it has been a horrible month of november.
no doubt my birthday falls in the month of november. but i really can't get myself to say i enjoyed myself very much.

that is only because on my birthday itself, i've to say goodbye to my boyfriend cause he has to go taiwan for 3 weeks. all for army's sake ):
so so heart wrecking.
but anyway, happy 26 months.


this year, my birthday was only spent with a few closer ones.
jeffrey brought me out on wednesday to buy a guitar as my birthday present. he really wants me practice. then thursday, we went out on my birthday date.
friday was cellgroup with living faith cell. (: they planned a surprise bday for me. and jeffrey came down too as an invited guest. hehe. on saturday, i met up with ina, annette & emily to have dinner. then jeff joined us for some boardgames fiesta. and i got some blue blacks as a result. hahaa.
sunday, jeff's family celebrated my birthday with me; not all's heart were really there though.
i was throughly hurt that night. but oh well. what can i say. i still appreciate the dinner and bday cake though. thank you (:

then on sunday, jeff had to leave. cried my hearts out. wept non-stop for the first few days.
and still feeling the heart-wreck. but i've to learn.
so i'm learning

next week is the starting of the november/december holidays. so i'll be really really busy!


i really really miss jeffrey )))):

dry bones in the valley

CBTL is finally over. (:
all the practices and all. haha. it's been so amazing. this is already the 3rd CBTL i've participated in. and every year, it just gets better & better.

recently, i've been going through emotional roller coaster rides. perhaps out of all this, i've learnt my lessons. to trust in God. it wasn't easy at all. emotionally stressed; not knowing what to do. feeling so lousy and lost. i thank God for LFC though. cause through them, i really was able to just relax my mind. and join in all the fun and laughter (: (especially christine)

haha. so yesterday before cbtl started, elder wee boon shared with us something to encourage us. he asked if we were dry bones in the valley? he also said something like asking us to ask God to give us flesh if we're dry. that through all these preparation for CBTL, it's not bout how well we sing, how much we practiced, but it's really all about God.

and yes, indeed i was so dry. so dry, so tired. both physically and mentally. But after praying, God just took over me. I wasn't depending on my physical body anymore. I felt as if a greater strength has been placed upon me, and i was ready to worship the most high God.

after the 17 or 18 songs, SP Dan Foo shared Psalms 20.
it was really good for me,
for it says,

Psalm 20
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 May the LORD answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you.

2 May he send you help from the sanctuary and grant you support from Zion.

3 May he remember all your sacrifices and accept your burnt offerings. Selah

4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

5 We will shout for joy when you are victorious and will lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the LORD grant all your requests.

6 Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he answers him from his holy heaven with the saving power of his right hand.

7 Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm.

9 O LORD, save the king! Answer [a] us when we call!

I was simply amazed. because God was like directly telling me something. The last few weeks, i've been begging God to love me more, to fill me more, even when i don't deserve it, please love me more. and yesterday his words just came to me.

"you don't have to begged me to save you. you don't have to begged me to love you. you don't have to begged me to be with you. I sent my only son to die on the cross for you, that's already part of my love for you. I am always with you as i promised. I know you even before the day you were borned. don't begged anymore. instead, open your heart to me and just receive"

and even when i'm in distress, i need not beg, i just have to call out for help. a single call for help to God will let his help be on his way. it may not be immediately, but it'll definitely reach.

and this is when, i just felt so touched by the word of God, by his spirit. and when dorcas started praying blessings over me. she just was able to pray the right things for me. God was just revealing himself, his grace over me.

how awesome are you dear Lord.
indeed this is a great experience this year (:

hmm.

i'm super duper tired today!
yesterday night, hanged out with jeffrey, aaron and samuel.
met jeff for dinner. headed to block 85. bar chor mee was horrible but the rest of the stuff were okay. (:

then headed on to church to wait for aaron and samuel.
i'm seriously starting to love jeffrey's new car (: it's so small, so comfy and it's like sitting inside a cinema; simply so close to your love ones.
we headed to brewerks @ kallang for some makan/chit-chat sessions (:

puggy has been horribly naughty today. she has been making a lot of noise lately. it worries me quite a lot. because she really cries sometimes. and i'm afraid when she cries. think because recently i've been working late nights. thank God for the 1 week break. i hope i'll be able to really seek God through this season and spend more time with puggy.

ate badette is back! it's a great joy to have her back with us. i'm not sure what my plans will be like with her. but i think i would be staying with her at andrews & jessie's place for some nights. i haven't confirmed the arrangement yet. but will work it out soon.
tmr will be my first vocal clinic session with her. i hope i can get more tips on how to improve my singing techniques especially i've been struggling a lot since i started working at student care. so i'm really quite glad.


well, recently i have been kind of working non-stop. have been meeting jeffrey frequently too. it's not really a bad thing. recently, i've drifted like very far from certain few friends. i feel like "sian". haha. maybe because everyone's so busy. and each time i ask them out, i always get rejected. and then when they ask me out, i'm also very busy! so i reject them, and the list just carries on.

but God's presence has always been with me, not letting me suffer any moments of loneliness.
(: his peace is so good.

gotta go plan out tmr's schedule. what i'll be doing (: hehe.
finally meeting xin en on weds for lunch. then she'll drop by to take a look at my dear puggy (:
YIPEEEEE~


loves.

will you provide for me?

you who even feed the sparrows, definitely you'll provide for me too.

i seriously have no control over my finances, that i realized.
but i guess, i just have to learn (:


jeffrey is coming home today!
(: boy, i'm so glad.

work has been horrendous. i got into a conflict twice a week with a certain colleague. and i was bursting. so i flared up. and just because she's older. it means that i've no respect for the elders.
ok. whatever they say. ):
i still don't think i'm in the wrong. but whatever. not my say.

i hope to begin studying soon. next year july. crossing my fingers and NIE, here i come (:

it's been an amazing journey

look at her leg in the plaster cast. my poor baby.

sleepy puggy. she was dozing off. but then whenever someone is near, she would always wake up no matter how tired she is.
really really sleepy puggy.hehe.



just some pictures of my lovely daughter (:
haha.


one month of amazing journey. God had just taught me so much on trusting him. even when i'm at the end of my wits, He told me to trust Him, because He'll provide for me, and make the best out of the worst in life.

times and times again, i've seen God's work through circumstances. when i was in the most down period, when i thought i could never bear it all, He said trust Him. and when i finally surrendered all to Him, He made this trust so worthwhile. He took away all pain and replaced it with joy and comfort.

i can never say enough thank yous. and sometimes, instead of thankyous, i let him down more.
but yet, He died on the cross for all my sins and shame, so that i may be forgiven of all my sins.
thank you Jesus. thank you for your great love. thankyou for never letting me go at all.



i've met up with ate Dorcas and Joanne already. next month i'm planning to meet up with Jessica. Dorcas have been talking a lot of sense into me. it got my mind straight again. and i know that i'm not too lost now. because i'm finally aware of where i'm heading. and Joanne has been a great joy to have dinner with. she's just like my sister. who always watch out for me and pamper me (:

and coming up next, dinner with jessica soon i hope. have to reconcile with her (:


this coming week, i'll be giving endless tuitions from monday to friday. but i know God is my strength, my power. (:



p.s. my mom just gave me a slimming pants. hahaha. so amusing. it's supposed to like burn your spare tyre and thighs. hahaa. by making u perspire and squeezing out all the oil. it's quite uncomfortable. hahaha. but all worthwhile to lose the fatty thighs. kudos to my mommy.

how great is your love.

how lavish your grace,
how faithful are your ways, oh Lord.

thank you for just pulling me through this season of my life.
it has been so tough. going through the roughs of every day life.
i thank God that He has never forsaken me through all this time.
He provided for me, for my every needs. He dried my tears in times of frustrations and anger.

work has been totally draining. the september holidays are over. how glad i really am.
thank God for the smooth running of programmes.
i've been really angry at how things were running at work, angry at people, getting upset. running to the toilet to let out my frustrations. controlling a lot of my temper and anger. trying to remain joyful all the time. but it is indeed so terribly difficult.

i have been disappointed in my working place times and times again. that i do not dare to have anymore high hopes. i have decided already my last day of work on the 29th of dec.
and i cant wait to leave that place. i will miss the children definitely.

i pray that in these last few months, i will just continue to perservere and press on. (:
God has been good to me all the time.

Puggy just injured her leg, and it was all my fault. oh well. i'm sorry baby.



MICHAEL ROSS WATSON IS COMING TO BBTC TMR. TO SPEAK ON THE TOPIC THAT I MOST WANTED HIM TO SPEAK ON. ((((((:

puggy is sick

Name: Puggy

Breed: Pug

Color: Fawn

Gender: Female

Jeffrey carrying puggy when we were at the beach with annette & Emily. took this picture from emily's blog.

this is my puggy now sick, lying in my arms looking so miserable.



yesterday was the worse day of my life ever.
I received news from my mother that puggy was really sick having difficulty breathing, coughing and everything. i ended work at 4pm. i took a cab home (taxi ride no. 1) then this uncle was really nice. he was willing to wait for me downstairs to let me go up bring puggy down. (taxi ride no. 2)
so we headed to the vet. (he could tahan puggy's smell!) he gave me his mobile number, he said if i were to finish early in half an hour, he would send me back.

but sadly to say, no. puggy's situation was more serious than i thought.
puggy was diagnosed with fluid in the lung. i looked at the x-ray and all i could think of was oh no.
doctor went on explaining what would happen if antibiotics did not work. he said he may have to take the risk of inserting a needle into her lungs. but if the lungs are twisted, and the lungs tear, there may be internal bleeding and she will lose her life. but if we go without treatment at all, she will die also. estimated cost for oxygen and needle is $200 - $300.

anyway, i let her take the antibiotic jab and made payment. total cost at that point of time is $162.
i thought nothing could go wrong at this point of time.
flagged a cab. (taxi ride no. 3) uncle was horribly blunt. wind down all windows. but anyway, we headed back to Pasir Ris. and suddenly Puggy lay all still. her face was swollen. eyes puffy, cheeks swollen. and she laid so still fighting to breathe.
i thought she was dying. I started crying in the taxi. called up the shop they told me to head back immediately. so i told the uncle to u-turn. there was a bad jam. i was fighting to hold back my tears but i could not stop crying.

When i finally reached, i quickly rushed her to the doctor. vet explained that it was an allergy to Penicilin. So they gave her another anti-allergy jab. poor girl having to have 3 jabs in a day.
then i had to let puggy rest at the shop for another half an hour till swelling goes down. by this time, i had no more cash on me. i was only left with $50 in my bank account.

i had to really trust God all things will turn out well. made the next payment which was about $20.

left the shop, took another cab home (taxi ride no. 4) and it costed around $15.

total cab fare for the day: $11+$12+$13+$13 = $49


SIGH.
puggy came home so sickly than ever.
my poor baby.


and so it was really a tough day.

please pray for puggy to have no other complications and that God will really provide for me in this season.
there are many more difficulties i'm going through this season. there're times i don't dare to walk on anymore in fear of what i faced.
i'm experiencing a greater sense of loneliness more than ever.

Lord Jesus, please be with me.


with God's love and mine.

Back with updates.

I have not been blogging for ages!

In this period of my absence, I had been having fun in Batam for 5 days with my cell group for the first 3 days, then with Jeffrey for the next 2 days at his relative's place.

was great fun being there. with all the food, sports, massages and of course, shopping (:
Jeffrey and i spent lots of time knowing each other more in many areas and of course learning to accept, compromise and accomodate with each other.
thank God for this lovely trip that we could bond with one another in the cell group as well as with my dearest boyfriend.

After the trip, as i came back to the reality of life in working, i took up a tuition student.
a P2 boy, rather adorable from the student care i work in.

And shortly as August is starting, i have 2 more students.
so currently i'm taking up 3 tuition students at night.
and i still have my day job to go about.
I teach tuition on Mon-Thurs and Saturdays.

so i've been really drained and exhausted.
please do cover me in prayer.

Days have been flying very fast.
i don't have time to meet up with my friends. i'm really SAD.

Emily, Annette: Certain fridays we can meet up ok? i'll let you know!


and Jeff is going to taiwan in November (on my birthday month).. BOOHOO!
for one whole month!
all girls dread all these from army i guess.

and my 2nd year with jeff is coming up next month! (:
any ideas on gifts? i don't have a budget yet. prolly 200-300.
please tag me (:


with God's love and mine,
qiqi

I worship you, Almighty God.

Afew days ago, i was really joyful as i was going through plannings.
and the first disaster strike, when i don't actually know what i want.
not that i really don't know what i want, but i have been too too discouraged by remarks and disapproval from my family.

now, i just find it so hard to trust in the Lord that He will provide. it takes more than just one miracle but probably a few. and God being our God who is able to create possibles out of impossibles, i would really love to put my trust and faith in him that he will provide.
sigh.

my decision isn't any wrong. it isn't wrong. but it is just a matter whether it's beneficial. why do i have to live up to the expectations of people ?
it's so tough!

)):
and yesterday night, i was at tears asking God what is His direction for me? i couldn't get an answer. i waited upon him, but there was no answer. and i really felt so lost. because i still don't know what's the specific direction to take. and God probably just wants me to wait upon him patiently.

and i'm so stresssss!
it just makes me feel like not thinking of it, not talking bout it anymore!!
ROARRRRRS.

yesterday met up with the two beloved girls, emily & annette. ((:
they were a great fun. though much stuff have happened.
anyway, just want both of you to continue to press on and be strong.
like i say, God has his wonderful plans for both of you.
don't keep thinking of money. like seriously, the world is not all about money.
you can't possibly bring money to your grave. your treasures are stored in heaven not in the banks on earth!
i just hope both of you can find joy in the Lord, not in the materials of the world. i hope God will reveal himself to both of you. (:
JIAYOU LE!

anyway.
tonight is the farewell dinner for kevin, claudia, caron because they are leaving SCC! boohoo!!
Claudia left TKPS already )): SAD.

gotta go work now.
i start work at 1.15 today! WHOOHOO. went for an early morning jog just now. super tired now. feel like just nua-ing and sleep! haha.


LOVELOVES

plans. and more plans.

so much planning nowadays.

two things to plan. one is a secret. the other is a half-secret.
haha.

looking through wedding gowns now. haha.
that's my half secret.

the other. hmm.
if you ask i might tell (:
lol. some already know of it. whoohoo.

i will just go with my plans as the Lord leads. lalala.

i'm in a superb joyful mood now. heh. miss my darling polar so much (:

loves!